God, I’m Sorry

This is an honest letter from one of my readers…

Baby girl

Who would have ever thought that I  would commit such a  terrible disgusting and almost unforgivable act… if not for the mercy of God. GOD.. I don’t feel like I have the right to even mention his name.
He ought to be my father… but how will a daughter knowingly hurt her father to his own  face and then call him father when  she is  done.
He ought to be my best friend…. how do you  betray someone you regard as a best friend and think things will just return to the way they were or even get better.
He ought to be my all in all … all in all I say, the most important person in my life…the one who should come first in all I do and think of.. you know  I would say my goal in life is to make him look good .. but yet I have displeased him. I am doing one hell of a job.. such a joker I would describe myself as.. a Christian joker.  The devil must be having a  good laugh.
I  can’t even seem to deal or forgive myself, how do I ask him for forgiveness.
I  wish I could erase it but I can’t, I  wish I could turn back the hands of  clock.  He spoke to me .. I twisted it to suit my flesh!
I am foolish indeed… even after reading the book of Proverbs.  I still have in a way rejected the wisdom and  counsel of the mighty one.
Who am I indeed? Should I still call myself a Christian? A friend of God? His daughter? A virtuous woman in the making?
Or am I just a shame… a shame to all I have learnt and tried to uphold .. a weakling.
Is there any redemption for this that I have done .. or will I have to pay for it! How do I get the  assurance that indeed I have been forgiven?
In all even though I know I am unworthy and unfit .. please  help me God! I  can’t do this on my own. Help me! If you will.  I am sorry!

If anyone ever feels this way ever, just read Romans 8 vs 38-39

None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.”

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