My Heart’s Cry

 

candle light

I need you to live in me Holy Spirit

To be to me every breath I breathe.

I want to meet Jesus,

Not later after I die, but right now.

In my bedroom, here on earth as I

Press my head to the floor and my knees are bent.

I want to know God, to understand his mind,

To understand his principles and to operate under

The wisdom he gives through the Holy Spirit.
Whos with me?

Breaking Point

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Whats your limit?

What’s your breaking point? I am currently sitting in mine now, I literally have had enough! Enough of it all, I was so discouraged, my heart was sad and it told my brain who told my eyes to cry.

I figure everyone has one of these days, days where they just get tired of pushing away all the hurt and masking it with a smile, days where you’ve just had it!

Days where you want to demand that things have to get better from here on out, days where you want to smile genuinely and actually know that your heart is light.

I’m at this point this minute, I want things to get better, I demand that things get better, I insist that its time for me to be happy, time for me to enjoy all the benefits, I’m no less than all those who have it going well for them, I just need to be out of this whole thing.

As I tear up about to cry to God to change this whole business for my sake, I decide to play a song, reminding myself of God’s love that never fails, never gives up and never runs out on me.

Instead as I sing about God’s gloriousness, I think to myself, maybe this is where I’m meant to be right now, maybe this “breaking point” is merely a wakeup call for me to trust God more, maybe, just maybe my breakthrough is around the corner and all of this will soon pass as all adversities do.

After all, if he did it before, he can do it again.

God, I’m Sorry

This is an honest letter from one of my readers…

Baby girl

Who would have ever thought that I  would commit such a  terrible disgusting and almost unforgivable act… if not for the mercy of God. GOD.. I don’t feel like I have the right to even mention his name.
He ought to be my father… but how will a daughter knowingly hurt her father to his own  face and then call him father when  she is  done.
He ought to be my best friend…. how do you  betray someone you regard as a best friend and think things will just return to the way they were or even get better.
He ought to be my all in all … all in all I say, the most important person in my life…the one who should come first in all I do and think of.. you know  I would say my goal in life is to make him look good .. but yet I have displeased him. I am doing one hell of a job.. such a joker I would describe myself as.. a Christian joker.  The devil must be having a  good laugh.
I  can’t even seem to deal or forgive myself, how do I ask him for forgiveness.
I  wish I could erase it but I can’t, I  wish I could turn back the hands of  clock.  He spoke to me .. I twisted it to suit my flesh!
I am foolish indeed… even after reading the book of Proverbs.  I still have in a way rejected the wisdom and  counsel of the mighty one.
Who am I indeed? Should I still call myself a Christian? A friend of God? His daughter? A virtuous woman in the making?
Or am I just a shame… a shame to all I have learnt and tried to uphold .. a weakling.
Is there any redemption for this that I have done .. or will I have to pay for it! How do I get the  assurance that indeed I have been forgiven?
In all even though I know I am unworthy and unfit .. please  help me God! I  can’t do this on my own. Help me! If you will.  I am sorry!

If anyone ever feels this way ever, just read Romans 8 vs 38-39

None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.”

Outpouring Of My Heart

 

outpouring

 

If you have to think then you haven’t experienced it.

Nobody needs to educate you if you know.

For you to know, you need first to acknowledge.

And for that to happen you need understanding.

Isn’t that what we all crave?

Understanding, wisdom and knowledge.

But I won’t drift too far, it’s pretty simple.

I can testify of Gods goodness and grace over my life.

Nobody educated me for me to know I woke up in the morning.

I first acknowledged that I don’t own my own life,

So I understood that he that gives life, gave me the privilege of breath.

It’s pretty simple really.

I don’t have to think too far because with every passing moment,

With every passing breath of my life, I can feel God’s goodness,

I am bold to say that I am a beneficiary of an amazing love,

A love so incredible, it literally keeps on giving regardless.

Regardless of my pitiful selfishness, my myopic stupidity

Nor my remarkably extensive record of wrong.

I feel the need to take a deep breath, the more I talk, the clearer it becomes

Like I am still not fully acquitted with this love I speak of, like I have not yet reached

The level of its extremity.

I can only wonder what’s in store if I’m only scratching the surface for now, don’t you?

Great God

sunlight

I’m thinking God is great

I’m feeling God is great,

I’m knowing God is great

Surely God is great.

 

There must be other things to talk about you say

Other than the greatness of God

Other songs to sing about you say again

 

The angels in heaven have sang the same song

In generations past and more to come.

Surely Gods greatness is big enough to span a lifetime.

 

Simply thinking on it make me smile

Just 1 thought generates a multitude of emotions

I’m thinking God is great,

I can see that God is great.

The Big Deal

 

a-grateful-heart

Its funny how lightly we take so many things as humans, an example

When you lose your sight, you are blind (that’s a big deal)

However we think it’s simply normal to open our eyes?

When you lose your hearing, you are deaf (that’s a big deal

However we think it’s simply normal to hear everything spoken to and around us?

When you ,lose your legs, you are lame (that’s a big deal)

However we think it’s simply normal to just get up and walk?

When you lose the function of your spinal cord, you are paralyzed (that’s a big deal)

However we think it’s simply normal to sit and stand straight?

Lastly, when you lose your breath, you are dead (that’s a big deal)

However we think it’s simply normal to take in breaths as we please?

 

I want to think by this point you get my drift, don’t overlook anything because things just happen to “work”

Give all glory to God, he deserves it.

 

The Right Way

Railway

As I picked up my laptop, I already knew what exactly I was gunning for, I was going to watch (again for the umpteenth time) the very last episode of Rookie Blue (S06E11)

Now the thing is not about what I’m watching but how many times I’ve watched it simply because it moves me, I once more get immersed into the characters, their tragedies, their joys, losses, laughter and tears, I’m flooded again with emotions as I watch my favourite characters exchange their vows, I start to remember their back story, how they got here and it is so well acted that I find myself laughing at their “intentional mistakes”. Every time I watch it again, I feel all these feelings afresh and I love it.

Which made me think, is this the same way I get when reading my bible? Do I fully allow myself to get carried away by the characters, the dialogue, the several themes that come to play, the lows, the highs, the mistakes and the lies, the good, the excellent the joyful and much more?  Do I let the knowledge of the parts I have read sink in me so much so that I can give a full account whenever I am called? Have I allowed myself to enjoy God’s word so much so that I don’t want to set it down from me, have I allowed myself to engage with God the way I engage with the movies, do I give my apt attention as I do an hour long series of 10 episodes per season for 6 seasons?

I could go on and on but I think my point is already on its way to being made, how much energy do we focus on the things that should matter and how much energy do we focus on the things that don’t? Almost seems to me like we have misplaced priorities, which is why we are texting when we are meant to be studying the word or even “instagraming” while a preacher is speaking the mind of God.

Nobody is perfect and we all fall short of the Glory of God, however it is one thing to fall short and get back up, and another to fall short and stay short of this Glory.

Isn’t it time we started doing things right way?

 

 

Indescribable

awesome-wonder

I have been putting together questions that I would like to ask God when I get to heaven, because there are just some things you want to ask face to face right? Maybe to see his reaction or just facial features moving but after watching something recently, I have one that I don’t know if I can wait till the day I see his glorious face to ask it.

My question.

How can, one so mighty and glorious, the creator of the universe (known and unknown),namer of the billions of stars, maker of the blazing sun, the chilling moon, several planets, the galaxy and every other galaxy there happens to be that humans have discovered and the billions of others we haven’t. how can one so great that he measures the whole universe (known and unknown to us) in the palm of his hand, how can one so magnificent and ferocious that he sent forth his word and it literally caused a big bang, I’m talking about one so extraordinary he shows off his splendour in ways our feeble human minds cannot fathom, how can one so indescribable, how can he think of a lowly nobody like me? What could one so great, so big want with a speck of dust like me? What could he possibly need me for?

My thoughts

In all honesty I don’t get it, God is so mind-blowingly amazing that only the celestial bodies alone are relentlessly singing, praising, rejoicing, what could my song possible be in comparison to the praise song of these stars?

Inspired

I then remember, that he doesn’t need my praise, he deserves it, I remember that if I keep shut everything else is praising.

Furthermore I’m assisted to remember that although, I am not as big and ragingly hot as the sun nor as cool as the moon or even as shiny as the night stars, I remember that I was created last because I am his splitting image of him, and because he is the God of splendour and pleasure, he placed me after making me so I can enjoy with pleasure the splendour of his magnificent works.

My conclusion

Won’t you praise God with me? It takes nothing out of you and me but means everything to our Majestic King.

Flat Line Theory

flat-line

CAN YOU FEEL IT?

I think I do, I feel it too greatly, I might just be overwhelmed.

It’s easy to ask the question, does God love me? Does he know I exist?

You might have heard the famous phrase, I think God has forgotten me.

Don’t you know that you need not look so far?

You simply need to touch the left side of your chest.

Feel the strength of your own heartbeat.

Let’s show you more then, touch the base of your wrist.

Feel the solidity of your own pulse?

How can someone who is keeping you alive forget you?

God never forgets, not his creation, what’s more?

We are his own image.

So looking at us, is basically looking in the mirror for him.

Has someone been spreading lies to you about your God?

God said, I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Isn’t that enough to turn your frown upside down?

Has someone been telling you God won’t talk to you?

God said, He will call upon me and I will answer him.

Who is telling you that God is out of signs for you?

God said, call upon me and I will show you great and mighty things which thou knowest not.

Did someone tell you God is all out of the miracle business?

Don’t you know your life alone is more than a miracle?

We are in Christ , a royal priesthood, holy and sanctified to God.

How can I measure God’s love for me? I use a flat line, I haven’t got there yet.